Monday, October 21, 2013

October is almost done!

I'm so happy that this month is almost done! It's been tooo stressful, tbh :/ On the other hand, at the same time I'm very scared to get to know the results of my tests. I hope it will all work out somehow, otherwise, it would mean that I lost so much time.
Another thing that I realized again: PEOPLE LIE<<<. All the time. No matter what. And most of the time you will even never know a reason of their lies.That's why all you can do is just to get used to that and try not to get stressed out about it.
I mean, it's fine if a person, who you don't care about, lies to you, but if someone, who you actually care about a lot, lies to you, it feels awful. It really hurts.
I'm lost again. I do not know who is my friend, who is not. Why do people, who I actually care about, just forget about me so easily?

Another thing is that I couldn't imagine before that staying in touch can be so complicated, especially if you're the only one, who makes an effort to keep in touch. When I was in the US, it wasn't that hard. It wasn't hard at all. I just skyped people from time to time, I didn't even have a need to talk to them all the time. It's so different now though. I do wanna talk, I try hard to find time, but people just forget about me. Or not. Or maybe they're too busy too. I don't know.
I've also noticed that if you demand something from your friend, it becomes hard to be friends, cuz you get jealous and stuff, and you're just being weird about s***** things. I like easy friendship: when you don't demand anything and a person doesn't demand anything either. However, I usually don't care about that person that much..
So, I gotta set new goals:

  • forget everyone, who doesn't care about me. And I'm not gonna make any first steps till December in order to see, who actually needs me.(It is only about people, who I am not sure about anymore).
  • stop being jealous about things!!!!
  • NEVER gossip. 
I think, for now it's enough.
And here you go - some pics of my last photoshoots:

P.S. Should I stop trusting people??? I feel likeI should trust people only after they prove me with their actions that they deserve to be believed. I know it sound harsh, but maybe it's a right plan for the life. I don't know. Wanna talk about it with someone, who actually earned my trust. Don't think that I'm haughty and arrogant, I was just mistaken in too many people.


  1. Dang girl whatta cutie... Life and friendship can be hard and dumb, but try not to over analyze. Do what you love and make people laugh :) Love ya.

    1. I'm pretty sure that's you, Ellie! It sounds like you :)
      Thanks, girl! love ya too!
      You know, it's just hard without such a great friend like you.. ))